About

This blog has taken on a new life of it’s own. Yet, I always knew I would be talking nonsense. That is why I picked the name Gabbing Girl. The definition of gab is to talk or chat idly; chatter. Hmm, sounds right.

Earlier today I was asked an interesting question. What was the point of my blog? Since then, the question has been ringing in my head. Do I have to have one? I’m not one to be conventional and use a blog for marketing or branding. I’m not using this site to drive traffic elsewhere or achieve some milestone by having X amount of followers. I don’t even have a specific topic, unless you count chronicling my misfortunes, and shocking those who thought they knew me.

I guess the reason this question made me self-conscious is because I really don’t have a point. I like to write. I like to think. I like to share. Aren’t those good enough reasons to blog? I‘m not going to pretend I am an expert in a subject, nor do I have a specific interest that I can provide unique insight.

This same friend who asked me this question gave me advice months ago when I was considering whether to blog. He said, “Goshie, you must write what you know.” I took that advice to heart. Even though I can’t explain or even understand my actions and behaviors, they are mine and I know they exist. So, that is what I tend to write about. Once in a while I am inspired by something I see or feel, and share my thoughts on the matter. But they are always my thoughts.

Since the growth of websites, and the onset of viral marketing, the internet has become mainstream socialization. From the dot com boom, to the development of Facebook, our lives have been reshaped to follow each other on social media. I’m not trying to get philosophical on the growth of the internet and it’s advantages, merely pointing out that like the rest of the world I have jumped on the bandwagon.

By working on my voice, my story, I am able to work on myself. Aren’t I the one responsible? I faced opposition that I am the basis of my blog. Why not? I don’t understand the concept of secrecy or shame. Why do people do things if it will bring shame and then hold on to it, or simply deny it? Just because no one knows your dirty secrets doesn’t make the shame any less. But by exposing it, at least for me, it makes it go away.

Months ago when I asked my husband to leave, I couldn’t even tell my friends or family that we separated without tearing up. The more I said it, the easier it came out. Then, it sounded like any other words. I stopped caring what people thought. The shame of a failed relationship or loving someone who perhaps lacked integrity, was not going to condemn my life.

Even the decisions I have made up until now, some mistakes, much foolishness, keeps me on this path of knowing that there is still work that needs to be done. I’m not going to sugar coat my life to make it easier for you to swallow. Nor do I deny my mistakes so I can look prettier to the world. The one thing I learned from my spiritual retreat is that change takes time. It takes work. That is what I am here to do.

From my darkness, the murky waters that still drain me, I speak my truth. I assume my honesty is appreciated by my small audience. It’s my reality. It’s crazy to look at the last 50 days of writing and seeing how much I’ve been through. Is anyone else’s life so unstable or dramatic? Seriously, this isn’t normal is it? Yet, this has been the basis of my adult life:  regret, heartache, and introspection. In between, there have been some accomplishments. Slowly I will live to my potential, and leave behind the girl who kept her thoughts to herself.

What’s my point? Uh, if I didn’t write the trials and tribulations of my life I wouldn’t believe it myself. As my therapist always says, “it’s a process.”  Follow me as I make my way to the other side, where ever that may be.