Since I am still figuring out the present, I thought I would tell you a story of my past. Today, I visited a spa in Koreatown. The drive down old streets like Normandie reminded me of the first man to break my heart.
At sixteen I was ostracized by all my friends because my first love, Glen, broke up. Our clique blamed me for keeping Glen away from the boys. Little did these jealous boys know that Glen was pussy whooped. Who could blame him? He took my virginity and unleashed a drive in me that was hard to tame.
Being exiled by my tiny Catholic school, I branched out to the rivals. I wanted to get away from the small minded valley boys. I got a boyfriend in West Covina named Regan. My new circle of friends grew and I knew the whole Filipino circuit from Canoga Park to West Covina.
Regan and I weren’t doing well. At a party Regan, unbeknownst to me, was high as a kite. I later learned that Regan had developed a bad coke habit. It made sense after thinking about his constant dry mouth and bad breath. Somehow or another I refused to go with Regan that night. Regan in a sudden rage grabbed me and threw me against the bar.
Feeling a bit dizzy from trust, a cute boy named Mikey stepped up to Regan to ensure my safety. I’d known Mikey for awhile now. He was a Casanova. All the girls adored him with his big dimples and fancy dance moves. I hadn’t really paid much attention to him up to that point.
Soon after Mikey and I were an item. This was the first time I had met my match. Mikey was an excellent liar. He could sweet talk anyone. My parents loved him. We were partners in crime. Also, his mother was never home and he had a freedom that I admired. I should have smelled something fishy when he gave me mono.
Being with Mikey was not easy. He had a slew of exes that didn’t like how committed we were. I was an easy target. It snowballed till I once again was excluded from my new inner circle. This kind of thing had been happening since Jr. High. For some reason I always attracted boys who were off limits. Back in my younger years I got my ass kicked numerous times for guys I wasn’t even interested in. Jealousy is ugly. 
Jumping out of another bad situation I changed schools for a third time and started hanging out in Silver Lake. This was before Silver Lake was cool. I remained with Mikey but our intensity lessoned. We were on and off for months. Although I dated and screwed around, I missed Mikey .
By my senior year Mikey tells me he is transferring to the school I left 1.5 years prior. It was a school I hated. But I felt that most of the rift raft had graduated and Mikey by my side, I couldn’t be too bad.
Within a month or two, Mikey began cheating on me with some innocent sophomore, Susan. Ironically, Whitney Houston had just released her single, “My Name is Not Susan”, which became the anthem of heartache.
After all the struggles Mikey and I had overcome to end like this? I was devastated. Up until that time I got almost every guy I wanted. (I’m not being conceited but guy in adolescence are hard up.) I was always the one calling the shots and feeling in control.
This blow to my ego set me in a tailspin. Shortly thereafter I dropped out of high school and began working full time. Even as I look back now, I can’t see anything good my high school years offered. Sure I was smart and popular. At the same time, I was driven by my dumb decisions and knack for turning the world against me.
Those years truly hardened me. Instead of fighting all the time, I stopped caring. I also removed the Asian invasion from my circle of friends and began rolling with the Mexicans. 
That leads to another string of mishaps. For those of you who have never lived in a metropolis like LA, you may not understand my cultural referenced. When you grow up in neighborhoods as tough as mine, you learn to pick a side. With my biracial background, my looks allowed me to pick and choose.
Anyways, even though I dropped out of high school I began taking classes at the local community college. As dumb as I was, I knew knowledge was my ticket out. I concurrently attended adult school to earn my diploma while maintaining a full time job. I paid hard for my mistakes. Even after all these lessons, I continue to make mistakes in which I struggle with. All I know is that Mikey was my first, and favorite, mistake.
