Let me begin by explaining the title of this blog. Like most women, I have a soundtrack to chapters of my life. Each memorable moment has a song. I’m not going to bore you with each track, but I have to explain probably one of the happiest.
Years ago I lived in one of the ugliest places. From the outside it looks shiny and sparkly. This is what attracted me to this locale. I am referring to Newport Beach. For a petite, dark-haired, B-cup Asian, this is not the place to be single. I thought LA was superficial, but nothing prepared me for the OC. I was naïve to think that me, a valley girl, would fit in a predominantly Anglo upper class area. Not a chance. The only dates I had were with the other handful of ethnic transplants in service jobs.
The only good thing I had was a great mentor, and a team of hard-working sales people whom I supported. As much opportunity that was in front of me, I was willing to walk away and leave it behind in search of a better life.
On a trip to New Orleans, a psychic told me that my search for spirituality must be continued. The capitalist environment I was serving was in conflict with my true happiness. He knew exactly what I did without having to say a word. This caught my attention. He advised me to travel to sacred sites in search of divinity, to do a vision quest. Once I got that stuck in my head, there was no turning back. Within a few weeks I traveled to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and stayed in the woods. Following that I was on my way to Sedona, AZ.
(Red Rock Crossing Photo credit: UniquelySedona.com )
Well, the trip didn’t turn out as expected. My sister decided to tag along and only made me compromise to her needs, instead of my own. We met a woman, Ariel, who claimed to be a shamanic medicine woman. Anyways, she talks us into spending a couple of nights on the river without food or shelter. This is our vision quest. My sister was eating this up. Me, on the other hand, didn’t believe this was my way. To be agreeable, I went along.
Before I left the OC, and upon my arrival, I had contacted a man who did Vedic Astrology. With my interest in this study, I wanted to meet with him. At the time I called, he was on his way out and asked me to call him later. By then I was starving in the high desert. Long story short, the thought that continued in my head, as I meditated on the river, was that I had to meet John. This is what I must do for myself before I leave. I didn’t know why, nor did I know much about him, except for this profile on the Sedona tourism site.
When Ariel came to pick us up, we did a final sweat. Afterwards, we reflected on our visions. My sister knew she was going to be a mother soon. Interesting. (That actually happened in Sedona.) I, on the other hand said, “I got to meet this guy John.” Ariel looked at me surprised. “John, really? Well, he’s having a party tonight. I can give you directions.” I’m grinning like a Cheshire cat, party crasher! Yay! I’ve been stranded in the desert and need to have some fun.
I put on a tight, short dress with a sheer black blouse on top. The blouse had gold and turquoise embroidery adorning the chest. It was my way of trying to look native. Before I reach the party, I stop at a gift shop to pick up a gift. Looking around I am drawn to these red rock coasters with some fluted figure embossed in the center. Later, I would learn that is Kokopeli, the fertility god. For those who like folklore, Kokopeli is definitely an interesting character. Unbeknownst to me, I had not idea of his significance. He just looked cool. Plus, he was everywhere.
I head down HWY 179 to VOC. I arrive and find the party is on the rooftop, under the starlit sky of Sedona. The home is very nice. Everyone is friendly, and generally interested in trying to figure out who I am. Once again, I don’t realize what a small community Sedona is. They know I am not from around here. But where am I from? Apparently, this was the then “it” crowd. I had not idea and walked in as if I was VIP.
I mingle around the crowd and find everyone so interesting. They all talk of their “journeys”. I’m loving it. They are just like me, or so I thought. From across the moonlight I can feel the stare of a man in the corner. We make eye contact and he makes his way to me. He introduces himself, “Hi, I’m John.” I kept my composure, and replied, “Well then, this is for you.” He looked at the image of Kokopeli and burst in laughter. John liked to laugh. He explained that he, too, plays the flute and the image was quite appropriate. I still didn’t get it, but at that point but agree contented.
Little did I know this was a house-warming party for him and his “friend” Stacy. How foolish I was. But I was enchanted. In hindsight, I realize that I was not so enamored with John, but with Sedona. She embraced me, and I looked to her like mother earth. I honored and adored her.
The next morning I arrive home to find my sister in a fury. Calling every name in the book, she pushed me out the door with my packed suitcase. I had one of the most memorable nights, and this is what I come home to? Reminds me of my youth, living with an abusive father. I take the suitcase and began to load it in my trunk.
As I am doing this, a beautiful man approaches me to introduce himself. “ Hi, I’m Daniel. I live across the street. I noticed you were staying here and wanted to come by and say hi.” Wow, my mojo must be on overdrive! Completely opposite from the way I felt in Newport. I apologize that I can not stop and chat. I must go before my sister comes out for more blood. I’m not even phased by how cute this guy is because I’m shaken by my fight with my sister.
I’m crying and uncomposed. There is no way I can drive eight hours to Orange County in this condition. I stop at the corner coffee shop and stop in. As I am placing my order, wiping the tears from my face, I hear my name being called. “Goshie, are you okay?” Sitting on the side are two guys I had met at the party, Oscar and Kurt. There is no point making excuses, I tell them about the mess with my sister.
Showing great concern, they both kindly invite me to their home to rest. “You can hang out as long as you want.” They got me stoned and we barbecued tofu. What a roller coaster Sedona was taking me on. I called John and he joined us. I spent the rest of the week with John, as I had planned the rest of the week off.
I know, 1200 words later and I have not explained the significance of Moondance. In Sedona, I discovered Van Morrison and fell in love with Moondance. It was on a repeat in my car. I thought it was quite right given my experience. Every time I heard it, I felt so perky and alive. Within five weeks I was living in Sedona, in my own home, on a .5 acre of land. Coming from a two bedroom apartment in Newport Beach for the same price, I thought I hit the jackpot. I did for the next year or so, until my world would once again get rocked. But that is another long story, and not so interesting.
The reason tell this story now is because I am feeling the embrace of Santa Cruz, as I did with Sedona. Ironically, the same search has brought me here. I feel welcomed and find my life filled with purpose again. By coming here, I can leave behind yesterday, and focus on today. I will deal with tomorrow when it comes. Sedona will always have a special place in my heart, as I’m sure Santa Cruz will. They are my best love affairs.
I know I promised to tell you about the stranger at the class. I had not idea I was going to get drawn into the details of my Sedona move. But there it is. You’ll have to wait for later to hear about the warm welcome Santa Cruz is offering.
If you are curious what happened between John and I, well, obviously that didn’t work out. He came to visit me in Newport. I knew we were never going to work when he wore a leather jacket to the beach. We were from two different worlds and wanted very different things. I also dated Daniel, and a handful of other musicians and artists that have called Sedona their home. Sedona has a reputation of free love, and some of it’s residents, including myself, let it live up to it’s name.
